


like gold through trees

by bluexshift



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Future Fic, Immortal Alec Lightwood, M/M, Minor Character Death, Retrospective, anniversary fic, like... very far in the future, major in the show but minor in the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 04:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13000290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluexshift/pseuds/bluexshift
Summary: it's their 50th wedding anniversary and magnus has a gift for alec





	like gold through trees

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by a little address book i saw at work a few months ago. i couldn't let this thought go throughout the rest of that shift
> 
> thank you to the magnus bane isn't smol squad for motivating me to finish this and also picking up mistakes when i was too damn sick of looking at my own words, yall the best

 The sun rose on their 50th wedding anniversary just as it did every other day, but Alec would have sworn it shone extra golden for them alone – as if the sun itself wanted to congratulate them, and convince them that _a few more minutes in bed wouldn’t hurt now, would it._ Not that Alec needed much convincing. He had all the time in the world now, and he intended to spend it with his husband.

He also wouldn’t put it past Magnus for the sun to personally owe him a debt, somewhere along the line, and be repaying it thus.

Many things had worried Alec when he’d first become immortal; very briefly, he’d worried about whether things would simply stop surprising him after a while, until other things swiftly jostled their way to the forefront of his mind, for him to concern himself with.

He needn’t have even wasted time on the thought, it turned out. And in the decades since, Magnus – no matter how familiar, how safe he became - still surprised and delighted Alec in the best of ways. Much to the (performative) chagrin of his siblings and children – Alec knew that they were truly happy for him – they still acted like newlyweds, passion still burning hot over the slow and steady current of a love like lava.

As the golden sun of their golden day crept over golden sheets and bodies, Alec breathed in deep. He was curled at Magnus’s back, face buried between shoulder blades, runed and scarred arms wrapped around his waist, and legs tangled with each other. Fifty years of waking up with his husband, another five before that, and Alec’s first thought was always about how damn _lucky_ he was. _Five hundred years could go by,_ Alec thought, _and I’d still be thanking the stars that he’s mine._

They hadn’t fallen asleep together, but at least they’d woken up together. It was hard to pull Magnus away from his work generally, even harder when he was brewing up a potion or something equally time-sensitive or –restricted (a sight restoration balm, this time); it was a trait Alec had always admired, and even if it did sometimes piss him off he loved Magnus for it. He knew he could be the same, sometimes. He often tried to stay up for Magnus, to end the day together, but clearly this time he’d failed.

He still had this morning, though.

They had plans for their day of celebration, but not until this evening, so Alec had no qualms about pressing soft kisses to Magnus’s neck, fingers running down his torso, teasing. Magnus was particularly fond of being woken up this way, and Alec was grateful that they both still retained the stamina of younger men, so that morning sex didn’t derail the whole day the way he heard it did for others who aged.

Magnus hummed contentedly, stirring from sleep with a smile on his face. “Mm, good morning Alexander,” he said softly.

“Good morning, Magnus. Happy anniversary,” Alec replied, the same gentleness in his voice.

Magnus turned over to face Alec then, smile and eyes as golden as the day – Magnus frequently left his eyes unglamoured around Alec. “Happy anniversary,” he pressed a kiss to Alec’s mouth. “Wait here.”

Magnus rolled out of bed with an easy grace for someone that had just woken, and Alec watched him go, confusion written on his face. He headed over to his concealed safe, unlocking it quickly and withdrawing a small, black book. Magnus turned, winked at Alec and made his way back to bed, sitting on the edge as the safe locked and disguised itself behind him.

Alec was still confused, the safe generally being for items that held great personal significance to Magnus. Some of the things in there were reaching nearly 500 years old.

“This is for you, hatiku,” Magnus pressed the little book into Alec’s hands. It was covered in a black leather, pages crinkled through use and gold letters stamped on the front proclaimed “People I need to remember”.

Alec panicked a little. “I thought- we agreed we wouldn’t do presents.”

“I know, I know, love, and this isn’t really a present,” Magnus soothed. “I bought this in the early 1980’s, as a way of keeping record. All the people I’ve known have shaped me in some way, so this book is representative of me and my history.”

Magnus took a breath. “Alexander, you may be part of my past, but unlike anyone before, you are my present and my future. I want you to take every part of me with you, so. I’d like you to read this.”

Alec looked at him, soft smile painting his features and heart aching with affection. He covered Magnus’s hands with his own, and slowly took the book from him.

“I’d love to read this, but- every part of you will always be with me, Magnus, you know that, right?”

Magnus nodded, smiled the smile that was reserved only for Alec. “I know. I’ll go make some coffee.”

 

Alec opened the book to the very first page, ink from ninety years ago still clear and dark on the page.

 

_Mama. I don’t even remember her name anymore. I remember her hair though, her lips kissing my forehead goodnight, the way she smelled, even. But not her name._

_If someone’s name is lost, does that mean they’re truly gone? Are my memories enough?_

_Catarina Loss, Warlock. I saved her from being burnt at the stake in the 1640’s – or was it 50’s? 30’s? It’s foggy. Although I remember the day being bright – this was in Spain, after all. Even facing certain death, I could see how kind her heart is. We’ve been good friends ever since._

_Ragnor Fell, Warlock. I first met Ragnor when I was in my early teens, when he’d come to meet the Silent Brothers for some reason or another. I forget what led to this, but he called me a fool and I, surly and hormonal, called him a cabbage brain. I thought that would be it until he showed up again to help me save Catarina. He called me a fool. I called him cabbage brain. We’ve been friends ever since._

_I’m eternally grateful to have had Cat and Ragnor with me throughout the past nearly four centuries, and with them, I’m excited to see what the next four have for us._

_Galileo Galilei, human, Italian polymath. I was a young man when I first became aware of his work – I was in my early twenties when he published Il Saggiatore and I found his written tone immensely entertaining. However, it wasn’t until 1632 with Dialogo sopra i due massimi sistemi del mondo that I had to meet the man, and in 1638, I travelled to Florence in order to be the one to give him medical advice. We spoke briefly, and I got the chance to test out (with his permission) an experimental potion I’d been working on to cure his blindness. (Unfortunately, no results and I had to abandon the idea. One day, though.)_

Magnus returned with their two favourite mugs – he’d gotten into the habit of actually making it after Alec insisted decades ago, using the very same coffee machine Alec had first bought (and if it’d been enchanted to work a little more efficiently, live a lot longer, well). Alec accepted his cup with a smile, and as Magnus sat back against the pillows, Alec settled between his legs, back and head resting against Magnus’s chest.

He read in silence, Magnus watching him, the only noise that of pages turning and coffee that never got cold being drunk. There were names he knew, like _Raphael Santiago_ and _Dorothea Rollins,_ ones he recognised even if he didn’t know the person ( _Will Herondale, Marie Antoinette, Axel von Fersen)_ and those he couldn’t recall Magnus ever mentioning, even though he may have done – Alec thought _Aldous Nix_ and _Imasu Morales_ rang a bell.

Alec turned the page following _Clary Fairchild – the first child I’ve ever seen grow up_ , like he had so many before already, only to be met with a rough sketch of… himself? He looked up at Magnus, as though seeking permission to read. Magnus nodded.

 

_~~Alec~~ Alexander Lightwood, Nephilim. Early 20’s? Tall, around 6’3, not sure he quite knows what to do with all that length when he’s not fighting. Hazel eyes and a bone structure to die for. Probably Maryse’s son, the one she mentioned in passing years ago as though it justified what she was doing. I believe I called him a brat. I was wrong, I think._

_I only met him today, and yet I feel as though he may be important._

“You called me a brat?”

“I think the exact phrase was “doubtless repellent brat.”

“I don’t know if I should be retroactively offended by that.”

Magnus snorted, and Alec read on. There was an entry for Isabelle, a brief one for Simon and a briefer one for Jace following his entry, and also preceding it.

 

_Alexander Lightwood (I guess he gets 2 entries)_

_He’s 23._

_Oh, this poor boy has such a loving heart behind so many chains, I can’t help but relate. Without a second thought, he gave me all he had to help me, someone he barely knows, help someone else he barely knows. We spent yesterday evening together – I thought he would want to stay, after he said yes to drinks the day before. Duty called, but I offered him a choice and he took it, waiting until the morning to run back to that Institute. He’s so… intriguing. I’m concerned about how much I like him already._

_Also, I don’t think he knows that I know it was his birthday. Happy birthday, Alexander._

_Already, he’s breaking my heart. Was she right all along?_

_God, I despise how ass-backwards Nephilim culture is. I won’t deny that yes, I want Alexander, but this isn’t about that. It’s not about me. I’ve seen a hint of the capacity for love that man has, especially after Isabelle’s trial, and to lock it away because he’s not allowed to love men is – well. It reminds me of my youth. Not that I’ve ever cared particularly what strangers thought of me, but tolerance has ebbed and flowed over the centuries and I’ve had to spend some decades hiding from interfering people with sticks up their backsides, mundanes, downworlders and shadowhunters alike._

_The point is, I get it, I do. But Maker, I’m so fucking mad. If it’s not me, I’ll get over it. But he deserves to know love._

Alec leaned up and pressed a kiss to Magnus’s cheek, and kept reading. The rest of the page was blank, and the page that followed only had one line in the middle.

 

_I lost my cabbage brain._

 

Alec knew about Ragnor, had heard countless stories of their adventures, and knew how Magnus still missed him.

“I wish we’d met.”

“Me too, darling.”

 

_Alexander kissed me today. He walked away from the altar and kissed me in front of everyone he knew. I don’t quite know what I was expecting when I got there, not really, only that Isabelle had invited me because she, too, was unwilling to compromise on her brother’s happiness._

_I’m proud of him._

_We agreed to take things slow, especially after Camille crawled her way back in to my purview. She’s still a snake, and I thought she might have scared Alexander off – I would have been disappointed, but certainly not surprised, were that the case. But he didn’t go anywhere. He pulled me closer._

_I don’t want to get my hopes up, but what if this is it?_

“I guess I couldn’t help getting my hopes up,” Magnus commented into Alec’s hair.

“Well, I hope I didn’t disappoint,” Alec smirked.

“9.8 of 10.”

Alec twisted around to look at him. “Oh? What deducted the point-two?”

“You’re talking instead of reading. Also I still think you should wear a shirt less. But we can work on that.”

Alec laughed softly as he turned to continue reading.

 

_We had our first official date yesterday. I found out he’d never had any kind of relationship before. He found out I’d had many, of varying degrees of intimacy. I couldn’t help but read his panic as a comment on my past. I won’t apologise for it, but it still hurt._

_Of course, it turned out he was panicking because he thought that his lack of experience would put me off._

_But we talked it out, and even though his damn brother came in and killed the mood stone-dead, I feel relieved._

_And we’ve finally been on a date. I think we’re officially boyfriends now._

“He was so good at coming in at the wrong moment, wasn’t he?”

Alec smiled. “Until the very end. Still, him blindly following Clary led me to you, so. I almost wish he could do it again, one more time.”

“Yeah,” Magnus whispered, kissing the top of Alec’s head as he took a moment to breathe.

_He thinks my eyes are beautiful. He told me my eyes are beautiful. That I am, too._

_And for the first time, I think I believed him._

_We had sex, officially, for the first time, and he made me lose complete control. Is it morally right to dedicate pages to describing his body? What a work of art._

_I was terrified when the glamour dropped and I couldn’t get it back. So many have looked on my eyes with disgust, turned me away, even my mother… I don’t know. I know Alec’s different to most anyone I’ve met, but I was gripped with this paralysing fear that he’d get up and leave me. And he surprised me yet again._

_He thinks I’m beautiful._

_I think I’m in love with him._

_I’m definitely in love with him._

_He told me he loves me._

_He told me he loves me and I do not feel I deserve it, not yet, but I’m getting there. The fear when I hadn’t heard from him, the fear that the worst had happened and the shadowhunters didn’t care enough to tell me was palapable. I had to try and hide it from Madzie, who was telling me that I was just as big as her tall friend Alec, and how she didn’t want to hurt him. I had to hide my flinch at her words, but Catarina saw. She told me to go find him._

_I found him and told him that I love him._

 

_The male High Warlock of Brooklyn dating the male (now, finally, official) Head of the New York Institute. Whatever would the Clave of centuries past think?_

_I find I care even less than I do about the current Clave, which I thought was impossible._

_Alexander has set up a Downworld cabinet, designed to meet regularly and discuss issues relating to the Downworld, and remarkably, he’s the only shadowhunter on the thing. Each faction is represented._

_I’m so proud of him, and I’m so elated to finally begin to see change. We live in dark times, yet I can’t help but see my Alexander as a shining beacon of hope. We’ll all overcome horror together._

_I told him about my mother and father today, and he still hasn’t decided I’m too much. Can Raziel himself be summoned somehow, so I can thank him for Alexander? I’m pouring out the worst parts of me to this wonderful man and he still thinks I deserve his love._

“You deserve the world, Magnus Lightwood-Bane,” Alec said. Magnus’s breath hitched, and his fingers stilled where they were playing with Alec’s hair, momentarily. Magnus didn’t think he’d ever not feel a surge of amazement at hearing their joint name.

 

_Oh, this hurts._

Another blank page, followed by this in the middle of the next. Alec knew exactly what this referred to.

“I didn’t write any more than that about it,” Magnus explained, “because I was furious with you, I wanted to be furious with you, but I knew if I read any of this back I’d realise how much I love you.”

“You deserved to feel that anger.”

Magnus hummed. “Yes, I did. And I still loved you at the same time. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

 

_He came back._

_“I don’t think I can live without you” he said. I don’t think I can, either._

_He’s been on my mind this whole time. We fought because I felt like I couldn’t fulfil my duty, protect my people, with him, yet without him I could only just about keep it together._

_Kissing him felt like coming home._

_Valentine is dead, but I feel like this is the end of one awful chapter and the beginning of a new, worse one. I’ll stay on my guard, but for now, I’ll appreciate my time with him._

 

Alec laughed at the understated accuracy of Magnus’s prediction, quickly reads and absorbs three years’ worth of recollections and commentary, dwelling on only a few paragraphs here and there.

 

_I know I’ll never forget him as long as I live, but I have to remember it all. The way his eyes sparkle when I show him something new, the gruff way his voice is in the morning (he never remembers to bring water to bed), the way his body curls into mine like we were made to fit each other._

_~~Were we?~~ _

_If this book ends up just being filled with Alexander, I’m okay with that._

He turned over, to find he was already at the very last page. Alec felt anticipation, and sorrow, at reaching the end, not sure what part of their story the book would close on.

_Alexander has been granted immortality. Gifted or cursed, I’m still not sure, but in the most selfish of ways, I’m delighted. He’s not going to leave me. (Of course my anxieties are telling me he may choose to leave, and I’m not sure I’d be strong enough to stop him if he wanted to, but I don’t think he will)._

_We’re engaged, for fuck’s sake. He wants to marry me, I want to marry him. My anxieties can be quiet for once._

_Technically, he doesn’t need to be in this book.  I’m never going to forget him, I’ll never have the chance. But nonetheless, I’m grateful for this record of before he was mine, and before he was mine forever._

_I’m so happy. Before now, I’d never been able to have someone I could really, seriously, consider marriage with, consider starting a family with. And now I have him, my fiancé._

_I’m going to start another journal, just to chronicle him, us._

_Magnus & Alexander Lightwood-Bane._

Alec breathed out slowly, eyes and heart full of love. He remembered everything as though it were weeks ago, not years, felt the trepidation of a crush, the sting of heartbreak, the validation of love, as though it were new and raw.

“Thank you, Magnus,” he breathed. “Did you ever keep that other journal?”

Magnus’s eyes sparkled. “I guess you’ll find out on our 100th anniversary, my love.”

Alec grinned. He could wait, if it meant another fifty years of being Alexander Lightwood-Bane, wildly in love with Magnus Lightwood-Bane. 

 


End file.
